I’ve come to believe that confidence isn’t an attribute you’re born with. It’s a skill you practice.
So in order to feel more confident, you just need to practice being confident. Jen Sincero says that Success = dreams + fear + doing it anyway
That “doing it anyway” piece, that’s how we practice confidence. In my work, I help clients gain confidence so that they can take on the risks they desire with ease. Because once we build this muscle, obstacles are nearly effortless to overcome.
And it’s been true for my life too. On our drive up to Adam’s family lake house this year, my dad and I got on the topic of confidence. The importance of flexing your “I can do this” muscle. And how, at the lake, it’s an easy thing to practice as long as you push yourself to do it.
I’m super new to water skiing (like I got up for the first time last year). So I vowed on the drive to flex my “I can do this” muscle by not only getting up, but going out of the wake too. Was it a scary proposition? Sure. Did I have confidence I could do it? All signs pointed to no- I had only gotten up once in my entire life. And the person who had driven me in his boat wasn’t going to be up during our week this year. So new driver. New boat. And I’d be wearing different skis. And there’d be more people this year to watch me, with both sets of our parents around. And I was afraid of falling- it can hurt. And and and. If I wanted to, I could have talked myself out of it. Easily.
But with my parents and Adam to hold me accountable, I chose to flex my confidence muscle instead. Sometimes that’s all the push we need, a team or a coach to hold us accountable to do the things to go after what we want in life. And that’s one of my favorite parts of my job. Holding my clients to the highest version of themselves and encouraging them to go after what they want, even when it’s not easy.
I won’t lie, when asked the first night if I wanted to ski, I chickened out. I wasn't feeling it. I was afraid. I felt like trying it again was asking a lot. But I told myself, the next day I’d have to go for it. And so I saddled up, got on my skis and repeated to myself “I can do this. I can do this” until I yelled “hit it!” and the boat took off.
And you know what? I popped right up. And I went around the lake, no problem. Despite my lack of practice. Despite the new driver and the new boat. Despite the different skis. Despite the extra eyes on me. Despite the fear of falling. I did it anyway.
I didn’t try to go out of the wake that first run, but the next day, I flexed my “I can do this” muscle again and with confidence went in and out of the wake. And it was easy. And fun. Now I wanted to ski every day. My confidence had skyrocketed.
So you see, we can choose to practice confidence and build it up.
So, this week, how are you going to flex your “I can do this” muscle?
Are you going to take the opportunity to do something you’ve never done? Maybe sail, water ski, kayak or swim? Will you text that person you’ve been afraid to text? Will you apply for that dream job or maybe start your house search? Will you cook a new and daunting recipe or start a blog? Let me know what you're thinking. I'd love to cheer you on.
Maybe you’ve been shy to reach out to me. If so, flex that confidence muscle! And send me a reply or sign up on my calendar to chat. I start with a complimentary strategy session, so you’ve got nothing to lose.
Just think of all the goodness we can achieve when we choose to practice confidence. The more we say “I can do this,” the more we can do, with confidence. And if you need help or accountability, that’s what I’m here for! It can be hard to build that muscle alone, so a cheerleader and coach can make all the difference!
