using others as an excuse

When we’re thinking about making a change, it can be easy to use others as an excuse to stay where we are. And change can be frightening, I get it. I've been there. But worrying what others will think only adds further unhelpful anxiety to our plate.

“I don’t want to leave my boss/team high and dry.”

“What will they say about me?”

“What will my family or friends think?”

"What will interviewers in the future think of this?"

This was one of my breakthroughs in 2019.

1. Thinking about others and being thoughtful of others are positive traits

but...

2. I need to ask myself and figure out what I really want (rather than putting myself last)

because...

3. What people think about me has nothing to do with me (and everything to do with them)

So what if we let go of the need to be cool and popular? What if we let go of pleasing everyone else and putting ourselves last? What if we let go of using someone else as an excuse to stay where we are?

Because the truth is, you can do what’s right for you. Even when it’s scary. Draw that boundary. Take that job. Ask for help. Make a change.

Because you want what you want for a reason. And when people are doing what they want to do, it benefits the rest of us. It shows us that it’s possible. And it helps affirm our wants too.

And at the end of the day, the people who love you will still love you. And there will people who don't, but you're not for everyone, so that's okay.

Because this is YOUR life. No one else’s.

So cheers to doing what is best for us. For doing what we want. For letting go of being cool or pleasing others. Cheers to you.